More often than not, dating ends with something other than lasting love. Dating is a dangerous activity, that can lead to many bruised hearts and egos. I have gained some of my most salient dating lessons through messing up a relationship and have also enjoyed a vast array of experiences through intimacy with many people. Many others have already navigated through the dating battlefield to find a life partner or just peace with their singledom. I have lots of great stories and some valuable experience, but I remain in the trenches, expecting to incur many more wounds, until I am thoroughly weathered by love.
There is definitely something idealistic about marrying your first love. Dating is a bitch; who wouldn't want to skip out on all that pain? When you first find love and commit to it fast, you get so many rewards right upfront: growing together through all of life's stages, having an ever-present helping hand when you face a road block, enhancing experiences through simple companionship. Making the choice to marry someone without "shopping around" saves many from falling victim on the battleground. Comparably, arranged marriages achieve partnerships independent of the outcome of dating. The pressure is off to perfect one's mad skills such as the "yawn-move" or the "oops-I dropped-something move."
[note: I do know not all marriages that either started young or were arranged end up lasting, but that also goes for other kinds of marriages, so...]
Not only is it getting harder to be psyched by dating, but acting "properly" on a date gets really old. None of the behaviors seem natural or real. Of course I want to make a good impression, but I want the guy in question to fall in love with me, not some imaginary girl. How I must exasperate my friends who offer advice that I routinely disregard! Since I have dated in very unconventional ways since I began, I have likely picked up more bad habits than good dates. In some ways, high school must serve as a dating boot camp: the hormonally-driven competition inspiring people to be what the opposite sex seemingly wants. It is all about embodying generalizations and manipulating impressions. Somehow I tested out of boot camp, but missed the experience of being broken down and built back up in the image of what is expected of me.
Will I ever know how to date well? Do I even want to get good at it? I want to form a partnership, not just be a serial-dater. Sometimes, my dating record brings me pain to recall, but I am still here, hoping. I think we have to look at lost-love differently. I refuse to wallow in self-pity that I do not have a husband, fiance or even a boyfriend right now. I am hereby awarding myself The Black-And-Blue Heart Medal for being brave enough to continually putting my heart at risk, even after receiving multiple injuries on the battlegrounds of love.
Dating makes one's relationship grow and blossom as you get to know each other well. My fiancee just got us a Three night stay for two in a cabin from www.dailyminneapolis.com So sweet of him. I just hope this relationship will survive. I have failed many times I still beleive in true Love.
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